Chapter 1.
I leaned my forehead against the dark window, welcoming the
feel of the cool glass against my feverish skin.
I could
feel the night calling to me, though I didn't exactly know what I meant by
that. It had been happening more often
lately—it was a strange tugging on my mind.
Something
was pulling me out into the dark.
In an
unguarded moment, GM, my grandmother, had told me that my mother had had
visions. The way the night called to
me, I wondered if this feeling was the beginning of a vision. I wished I could talk to my mother. I'd been wishing for that more and more
often lately.
I turned
away from the window and picked up the picture that sat next to my bed. In the picture, a man with curly brown hair
and a pale, blond woman smiled as they kneeled on either side of a laughing,
fair-haired girl of five. The
inscription on the back was hidden by the frame, but I knew well what it
said. In GM's busy scrawl were the words
Daniel, Katie, Nadya.
My father,
me, my mother.
Though the
memories were faint, I did remember those early days in Russia. I remembered the big apple tree and the
roses that grew at our house. I
remembered playing with my red-haired cousin, Odette.
I
remembered, too, the day GM had taken the picture. Little had she known then that her son-in-law and her daughter
would be dead soon afterward.
My father
had died first in an accident in the mountains. My mother died just a few weeks later of a fever. GM had moved us to the United States shortly
after that. We'd been here for eleven
years now, and my old life was beyond my reach for good.
I set the
picture down.
The
darkness continued to call to me, and I tried to force my mind back to
reality—back to what was normal and safe and unrelated to the unknown out in
the dark.
I thought
of school—and my friends—but even as I did so, I felt a sudden, sharp tug on my
mind, and I was seized by an irrational desire to run out into the night—and to
keep running until I found the source of the summons.
I closed my
eyes and willed the feeling away.
After a
moment, the night calling began to subside.
I concentrated harder, pushing it further away from me. In another few minutes, the feeling was gone
entirely. Relief flooded through me.
I was free.
I climbed
into bed and turned out the light.
I was just
drifting off to sleep when I was jolted wide-awake by the sound of a car
tearing down our street. The car
screeched to a halt somewhere below my window, and then turned sharply into our
driveway.
I sat
up. I heard the muffled slam of two car
doors outside, and I heard GM, who usually kept late hours, hurrying toward the
door.
I got out
of bed and fumbled in the dark to find a robe.
I was puzzled—who could possibly have come to see us in the middle of
the night?
As I
hurried out of my room, I heard a heavy pounding on the front door, followed by
a woman's cry.
"GM! GM Rost!
Annushka! Open the door!"
I
froze. Only GM's oldest friends called
her Annushka—and there were precious few of those.
I heard GM
quickly unbolt the door and open it.
"Galina!"
GM shouted in shock. Her voice rose
even higher. "Aleksandr? Is that you, Aleksandr? How tall you are! I scarcely would have recognized you."
I wished I
could see who was at the door, but I knew that if I went downstairs, GM would
just order me back to my room. GM
clearly recognized her visitors, and they were clearly people she had known
back in Russia.
And GM
never allowed me to get involved in anything that had to do with the past.
I crept to
the top of the stairs but remained in the shadows—the better to hear without
being seen.
"Annushka!"
Galina cried. She had a heavy Russian
accent—much heavier than GM's.
"Annushka! I had scarcely
allowed myself to believe that we'd actually found you! Oh, Annushka! After all these years!"
"Hush,
Galina, hush," GM hissed.
"You'll wake my granddaughter.
Come in. Quickly, now."
I could
hear the clack of a woman's footsteps in the hall, followed by a man's heavier
tread. The door was closed and the bolt
reset.
GM led her
visitors down the hall to the kitchen.
I tiptoed
down the stairs and sat on the bottom step.
I wouldn't be able to see into the kitchen from my perch without leaning
over the banister, but I knew from experience that I would be able to hear.
GM's voice
floated down the hall to me.
"Since you're here, Galina," she said, "you and Aleksandr
may as well have a seat."
I heard
chairs scraping on the kitchen floor.
"You're
not entirely happy to see us, are you, Annushka?" Galina asked.
"I am
happy to see you," GM said stiffly.
"I am not happy about what it is that you bring with you."
"And
what is that?" Galina asked sharply.
"Superstition,"
GM said wearily. "I have a feeling
that this conversation is going to be difficult. However, we may as well try to be civilized. May I offer you both a cup of tea?"
"Yes,
thank you, Annushka," Galina said.
I heard
water running as a kettle was filled.
A moment
later, I heard GM sit down at the table again.
"I suppose you have a good reason for storming my house in the
middle of the night?"
"Annushka,
we need your help," Galina said urgently.
"Then
why didn't you just call?" GM asked angrily. "Why fly all the way here from Russia? You did come from Russia, didn't you?"
"Yes,
we did."
GM
snorted. "Ridiculous. Again, I say, why didn't you just
call?"
I figured
that everyone in the kitchen was too absorbed in the conversation to notice me,
so I risked a look over the banister.
GM was sitting with her back to me, and I could see that she had pulled
her long silver hair into a ponytail that flowed like silk down her back. She was resting her elbows on the kitchen
table as she regarded her visitors.
Facing GM
was a woman who was young enough to be her daughter. She was blond, and she wore a nondescript beige coat with
brightly colored mittens. Next to her
was a young man who seemed to be in his early twenties. He was wearing an olive-green military-style
coat, and his hair was an odd shade of brown—sort of a cinnamon color. There was a strong family resemblance
between the two of them. I guessed that
Galina and Aleksandr were mother and son.
Aleksandr
must have felt my eyes on him, for he transferred his gaze from GM to me.
I felt a
flash of panic as Aleksandr's eyes met mine, and for just an instant, a feeling
of strangeness—something wildly foreign—washed over me. I quickly pulled my head back behind the
banister.
I froze,
waiting to hear if Aleksandr would tell GM that he had seen me.
But
Aleksandr did not say a word, and silence settled on the kitchen. I figured my reaction to his gaze had simply
been nerves. I relaxed.
"Why
didn't I just call you?" Galina said at last, breaking the silence. "I feared you would not listen. I feared you would hang up on me. Was I wrong about that?"
GM did not
reply.
"I
tried to keep in contact with you," Galina said mournfully. "You didn't answer any of my letters or
phone calls."
"I
didn't answer you," GM said, "because you wanted to involve my
granddaughter in your nonsense. You
wanted to make her believe that nightmares are real."
"I
wanted to teach her," Galina replied angrily.
"So
that's what this is all about then?" GM asked, equally angry. "You, in your great wisdom, have decided
that the time has come for you to drag my granddaughter into your world of
darkness and ignorance?"
"I did
not choose the time, Annushka," Galina said. "It was chosen for me.
I feared something like this would happen, and if I'd been working with
Ekaterina all the time, maybe we could have prevented this."
I was
startled to hear Galina call me by my Russian name—no one ever did that—it was
almost as if the name weren't even mine.
To my family I had always been Katie—my English father had been responsible
for that.
"I
don't want to hear your nonsense, Galina," GM said curtly.
"Annushka,
you have to listen!" Galina cried.
"He's free! You know
whom I mean—"
"You
will not speak that name in my house!" GM shouted.
Just then
the kettle began to whistle, and I jumped.
I heard GM
get up, and the whistling soon stopped.
There were other noises as GM clattered around, getting the tea ready.
No one
spoke.
"I am
sorry," Galina said softly, after some time had passed.
I heard
GM's chair scrape as she sat down again.
"I
will not discuss this if it upsets you," Galina added.
"You
don't believe in the supernatural, do you, Mrs. Rost?" Aleksandr asked.
GM
snorted. "The mischievous spirits
and the vampires? No, I do not. Those are just stories designed to scare
people—tales about the supernatural are nothing more than a way to spread
fear."
"They
aren't all mischievous spirits," Aleksandr said lightly. "They say the Leshi, for example, is
actually quite a good fellow. Though
you make an excellent point about fear—there are darker things than vampires in
Krov."
"You
are too young to believe in such foolishness," GM said. "Why can't any of you from the old
village have a normal conversation?
Look at me. I started over
here. I lead a normal life now. Can't you do the same?"
"I
heard you are a graphic designer now," Galina said.
"Yes,
I am," GM replied.
"I
don't even know what that is," Galina said—there was a note of wistfulness
in her voice.
"There's
so much that you miss," GM replied in a rush. "How are you doing, Galina?
How are you really? Are you
happy? You know that in my heart I miss
you. And don't you want good things for
your son? How about you,
Aleksandr? How are you?"
"Still
unmarried. Ask my mother,"
Aleksandr said in amusement.
"Shut
your mouth, Aleksandr," Galina snapped, her tone unexpectedly sharp. "Don't be a fool."
"Galina,
why don't the two of you move somewhere else?" GM asked.
"We
can't leave—"
GM broke in
hurriedly. "I don't mean leave
Russia. I mean leave the village—leave
tiny little Krov. Move to Moscow. Or another big city. Russia is such a beautiful country. You don't have to stay in that dark, tiny
corner of it. Move some place where
there is life—where there are new things."
"Though
you will not admit it," Galina said, "you know why I can't
leave."
Silence
settled on the kitchen once again.
"Annushka,
there are lights on at the Mstislav mansion," Galina said after a time,
her voice low and edged with fear.
"The house has been deserted for a long time. You know when that house was last
occupied—it was eleven years ago."
"Perhaps
his son has decided to take over the place," GM said evenly. "It would be nice for someone to sweep
out the cobwebs. It was a grand old
mansion, and it should be restored to its former beauty. The house itself certainly never did
anything wrong."
"They
opened the old airfield two weeks ago and began fitting up a plane,"
Galina said quickly. "That's what
made us decide to come here."
GM was
unimpressed. "So? It would be nice for everyone in the area to
have a proper airfield. It might
encourage good things."
"Annushka,"
Galina said urgently, "his house is lit up again. And it was his plane they were
working on. You know the one I mean—he
bought it when he first amassed his fortune."
"I saw
his plane myself," Aleksandr interjected.
"I believe he reached the U.S. ahead of us. It took us time to get our travel documents
in order."
"Quiet,
Aleksandr!" Galina snapped.
"Annushka, please. It's him. He is free. And he will seek out—"
"Galina,
I warned you not to bring this up."
GM's voice was sharp.
"Annushka!"
Galina cried despairingly.
"He's
dead, Galina," GM said sternly.
"Enough!"
"He's
returned!" Galina cried.
"Nonsense!"
GM replied angrily.
"Annushka! How can you say that? He killed your daughter!"
A chair
scraped back violently.
"Superstition
killed my daughter!" GM shouted.
"Annushka! You must listen!" Galina wailed.
"Get
out of my house!" GM cried.
I heard
porcelain shattering against a wall, and two more chairs scraped back.
I jumped to
my feet.
I watched
in shock as Galina and Aleksandr ran down the hall to the front door. GM came running after them.
Galina
fumbled with the locks, and then she and Aleksandr escaped out into the night. GM ran after them.
I quickly
followed.
The cold
night air cut through my thin nightclothes as I hurried down the concrete
driveway in front of the house.
GM was
standing in the middle of the driveway, breathing hard. Strands of silver had worked their way free
of her ponytail and settled in scattered array around her head, glinting softly
in the moonlight.
Galina and
Aleksandr jumped into a car that sat just behind GM's own. The engine roared to life, and the car took
off, tires screeching.
I watched
the car's red taillights disappear into the night, and then I glanced over at
GM—I had never seen her so angry.
"GM,
what's going on?" I asked.
GM whirled
around. She stared hard at me for a
moment and then looked down at the silver cross she always wore. She wrapped her fingers around it and
gripped it tightly.
"I'm
sorry," GM said quietly. "I
wanted to spare you all of that. I
never should have let them in."
"Are
you all right?" I asked. "Who
were those people? Why did the
woman—Galina?—why did she say a man killed my mother? I thought she died of a fever."
Anger
blazed in GM's eyes. "Your mother did
die of a fever. Galina doesn't know
what she's talking about."
GM's
expression softened as she continued to look at me. "Come back into the house, Katie. It's too cold out here."
GM put her
arm around my shoulders and guided me back toward the gold rectangle of light
that streamed out of the still-open door.
I stopped
suddenly. I'd thought for just a moment
that I had seen a tall figure standing in the shadows near the house. I blinked and looked again.
The figure
was gone.
"Is
something wrong?" GM asked, looking around as if she feared that Galina
and Aleksandr had returned.
"No,
it's nothing. I thought I saw
something, but it's gone now."
GM steered
me firmly into the house and shut and locked the door. Then she guided me into the kitchen. "How about a hot drink?"
I looked
around the room. Three of the kitchen
chairs were standing awkwardly askew.
On the kitchen table were two of GM's blue-and-white china cups. One of the cups lay on its side, its
contents spilled on the table—a brown puddle on the white surface. I could see shards of a third cup littering
the floor, and a brown stain ran down the far wall.
"GM,
did you throw a cup of tea at those people?" I asked.
GM simply
made a derisive sound and waved her hand.
Then she went over and kneeled down to examine the broken teacup. I knew that GM was very fond of that tea
set, and she wasn't the type to lose her temper easily.
"GM,
what made you so angry?" I asked.
GM ignored
my question. "It occurs to me now
that it was a bad idea to bring you in here.
I'm sorry you had to see this."
She
straightened up and calmly retied her ponytail. Then she put her hands on her hips and looked over at me.
"I
think this will all keep till morning.
Never mind about that drink now.
We've had enough excitement tonight.
It's up to bed for both of us."
"GM!"
I cried as frustration welled up within me.
"You're acting like nothing happened!"
GM gave me
a puzzled, slightly wounded look, and I felt a wave of contrition wash over
me—I wasn't used to shouting at her.
I went on
more quietly. "Why won't you
answer any of my questions?"
"I did
answer one—about your mother," GM replied, averting her eyes.
I wasn't
going to let her get away so easily.
"No, you told me something I already knew—my mother died of a
fever. You didn't tell me why anyone
would believe she'd been murdered. That
is what Galina was saying wasn't it?
That a man from your old village had killed her? And why wouldn't you allow Galina to say his
name?"
GM looked
at me, and I could see a distant flicker of pain in her eyes. I could also see that she was fighting
against it.
GM held out
her hand. "If you will go upstairs
with me, I will tell you a story. It
will help to explain."
I
hesitated. Too often, GM had distracted
me when I had asked questions like these—she had diverted my attention from the
past and sidestepped my questions without ever refusing to answer them
outright. I feared she would talk
around me again.
My
questions would evaporate the way they always did.
"Please,
Katie, come with me," GM said, her voice low and pleading. "You know the past is difficult for
me."
I resigned
myself and took GM's hand.
We went up
to my room.
GM switched
on the light. The lamp by my bed had a
faded shade with yellow sunbursts on it.
I'd kept it for years, refusing a new one when GM had wanted to
redecorate. For some reason, the old
shade reminded me of my mother.
GM smoothed
back the quilt on my bed. "Let me
tuck you in." She sounded sad and
tired.
After I had
settled under the covers, GM sat down beside me.
"I
will tell you something I have never told you before, Katie. The night your mother died—"
GM's voice
quavered and she stopped.
I watched
as GM's face worked. She was struggling
with something within. Eventually, she
overcame it, and her expression settled into composed lines.
"The
night your mother died was the worst of all—for the fever, I mean. It had raged through her body, and she had
reached a point at which she could no longer find comfort of any kind. She couldn't eat or drink; she couldn't
sleep. She couldn't even close her eyes
for more than a few moments to rest—she said closing them made the burning
behind them worse. On that last night,
she kept calling for your father, and of course, your poor father was already
gone—dead in that terrible accident. She
was crying out for him to protect you.
Even in her delirium, she knew she wouldn't last long."
GM paused
again. Her chin had begun to tremble.
I felt
tears stinging my eyes.
GM went on
in a low voice. "When I could make
her understand who I was—when I could make her understand that I was her
mother—she begged me to protect you.
She said, 'Swear to me that you will always protect Katie.' She need hardly have asked for that—the
desire to protect you had been in my heart since the day you were born. But I swore it to her then, and I swear it
to you now. On my life, I will always
protect you."
GM stared
at me steadily as she said the words, and the tears in my eyes began to sting
even more fiercely. Soon they began to
fall. No matter how hard I tried, I
couldn't hold them back.
GM put her
arms around me and pressed my head to her heart.
"After
I made my promise," GM said, her tone unsteady, "Nadya seemed to grow
calmer. She asked to see you. I brought you in, and she kissed you on the
forehead. You were sleeping and didn't
wake. Then she sang her favorite piece
of music—no words, just a hum. Do you
remember it?"
I nodded
weakly. When I was a young child, my
mother had often sung the same melody to me.
It was from a piece of music by Mussorgsky.
GM went
on. "Not long after she finished
singing, Nadya was gone. I swore to her
that I would protect you, and I have.
And I will. That's why I moved
you out of the old village. That's why
I moved you out of Russia altogether after your mother died. I had to get you as far away as I could from
people like Galina. She is a good
woman, but her thinking is trapped in the Dark Ages. She would warp your mind as she warped your mother's. She has nothing for you but superstition and
shadows."
GM
rose. She stood looking at me with
tears streaming down her face. "I
love you, Katie. Believe me when I say
there is nothing out there.
There is nothing in the dark."
She pressed
a kiss to my forehead, as she said my mother had once done, and departed.
I was left
feeling less comforted, rather than more so.
I was
grateful to hear a story about my mother, even though it was painful. But as I had feared, GM had answered none of
my questions and had actually left me with more.
Why had GM
said there was nothing in the dark?
What was
she was afraid of?